


Heartache

by SALTBEAR



Series: dream smp oneshots [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Dream Smp, Emotional Hurt, Floris | Fundy Angst, Fundy has Fox Features, Fundy isn't a Furry, Fundy needs a hug, Gen, Ghost Wilbur Soot, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Cheating, Parent Death, Phil being a good grandpa, Sad Floris | Fundy, Shapeshifter Fundy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:26:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27854198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SALTBEAR/pseuds/SALTBEAR
Summary: Fundy spends time thinking about his relationships.
Relationships: Floris | Fundy & Phil Watson
Series: dream smp oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2156787
Comments: 6
Kudos: 84





	Heartache

Everyone always left him.

Fundy sat on the balcony connecting his house to the community area within Quackity’s, staring out at the buildings littered across the area. The obsidian walls surrounding L’Manburg felt constricting, and it caused uneasiness to set in. His stomach twisted.

Everyone always left Fundy—he knew that. He never knew his mother, and his father never treated him with the respect he asked for. He’d been coddled his entire life, and then left when he needed him most. They didn’t have the greatest relationship, Fundy knew that, but he still cared about Wilbur. After everything, he was still his _father._ That wasn’t going to change.

He would be forever angry that they never got the chance to speak to each other properly. In the months leading up to his passing, he’d lost his mind, and Fundy wasn’t sure if they would’ve even been able to talk properly before his death. The Wilbur that Fundy knew, that babied him and still _loved_ him had disappeared long before his death. There was no doubt about that.

And now, with the ghost of his father lingering around New L’Manburg, Fundy wouldn’t ever be able to move on. It was too late for Ghostbur to try and be a father to him. Not to mention he couldn’t even remember most of their interactions, most of what defined the hostility that Fundy held towards his father.

That was the most frustrating thing about it. 

Ghostbur hadn’t remembered that he was going to get adopted, hadn’t remembered the arguments they had, or the many nights Fundy spent spewing bitter words in his dad’s direction. In some ways, that was likely for the best, but in others, it put even more distance between them. Ghostbur’s attempt at bridging the gap between them was failing, and him bailing every time a serious conversation came up just made matters that much worse.

Fundy let out a sigh, staring down at the wood he was sitting on. An ache flared up within his chest and he let his posture fall, shoulders slumping. His eyes fell shut and he let out a pained sigh, pursing his lips afterwards. 

Eret left too. Didn’t even show up to his adoption.

Tears gathered in his eyes, threatening to fall.

Had he done something to deserve this? Sure, he may have outwardly sided with Schlatt, but he’d tried helping L’Manburg. It was for the better of the country—all of it was. Even if some people didn’t see that at first, that was what he’d done. That was why he’d done it.

His disowning of his father was… It was fake. Fundy’d never forgive himself for not telling Wilbur or trying to at least reconcile after joining Pogtopia, but he wasn’t sure if it would have even done anything. He was too far gone at that point. Was that karma, then? He’d treated Wilbur like shit, had gotten angry, had… 

Was this punishment for that?

Fundy raised one of his hands to press his fingertips to his eyes, letting his composure crumble. A silent, shaky sob passed his lips. His fox ears folded back, pressing against his head, and his tail settled up against his thigh as he curled into himself. It was too much. He was at a breaking point, and the cracks that had built up over time were finally causing him to crumble.

Another sob escaped the fox-man, and he wiped his eyes, not wanting the tears to fall. He could still pretend. He could pretend to be okay. He could pretend that anxiety wasn't clawing at his throat more often than not, or that stress had started to physically weigh him down. He could pretend that he didn't spend most nights staring at the photo of him and Wilbur that sat in his house, or that he didn't spend time trying to reassure himself people weren't going to leave him for no reason. He could pretend.

As his hand fell to his lap, the sun's reflection bounced off the ring that sat on his finger. Fundy’s chest tightened at the sight of it, the pain in his chest returning tenfold.

He didn’t want to think about the rumors that were starting to float around—that Dream didn’t love him, that he agreed to marry Fundy for power. He was trying to deny them best he could, because Dream loved him. Of course he loved him—he wouldn’t have accepted his proposal otherwise. Right?

Right?

The tears welled up again and this time, he didn’t bother wiping them away. The loneliness that had started to build was at an all-time high, as well as the anxiety and fear that came with this situation. 

They didn’t spend very much time together. More often than not, Dream was off doing his own thing, and Fundy was left to plan their wedding alone. His worries had worsened after the situation with George. 

A small part of Fundy knew that Dream wouldn’t pitch such a fit if it were his house that was burned. He’d caught the slip up at the flower shop. He knew something was going on, as much as he tried to deny it. If he accepted it, then that made it true, and that made it his reality. Fundy had dealt with so much shit in his lifespan—his relationship with Dream had been the only good thing he’d gotten lately.

Was any of it even real? Did Dream even love him?

Fundy turned away from L’Manburg to sit against his house, pulling his knees to his chest and staring up at the sky. His eyes were red now. He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it disheveled, and then pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes to try and wipe his tears away. He couldn’t stop crying though, no matter how much he wanted to.

How come his life had gone to such shit?

He didn’t understand it. He really didn’t. His list of issues was being added to with every passing day, and he knew that by the end of everything, he’d be a shell of his former self.

Maybe it was just better to expect everyone would leave him. Then he wouldn’t get his hopes and break his own heart. 

The creaking of stairs reached Fundy’s ears, but he didn’t budge. He continued to simply stare at the sky, even as Phil’s voice rung out.

“Fundy,” the older man called gently. When the fox-man neglected to respond, a quiet sigh came from the blonde. The creak of the ladder was heard next, and then Phil reached his peripheral. With a sigh, the oldest of the two settled a few feet away from him on the opposite side of the entrance. Fundy could tell there was a worried look on his face, but he didn’t want to delve into the thoughts that had been running through his mind. Instead, he dropped his head and gave his eyes one more swipe, then looked at his grandpa.

Phil studied him for a moment before speaking up.

“You’re not as alone as you think you are.” He pursed his lips, and then offered a small, comforting smile. 

After a moment, Fundy nodded. He cleared his throat and sniffed, lifting his hand to adjust his hat. Phil reached over to pat his thigh, and then leaned back against the house again, looking out across New L’Manburg.

As Fundy looked back at his grandfather, he realized that what he said was true. He _wasn’t_ alone. He had Tubbo, and Ranboo, and Niki. He still had his friends. He was quite surprised that Phil's reassurance had soothed him even through his ass-load of trust issues.

But for the first time in a while, he finally started to relax.

**Author's Note:**

> i've been thinking about fundy a lot lately.
> 
> this wasn't beta read and i didn't read over this before posting. i started writing this as an outlet so it may not flow the best or be of wonderful quality. however, as always, comments and criticisms are appreciated, and thank you for reading. <3


End file.
